Ghost Island

"how did the date go last night?"  The text came through that morning as she was lying in bed, a smile still plastered on her face from the memory of the evening before.  She leaned over and searched for her glasses on the nightstand.  "it went great, amazing....fantastic."  She typed back to her friend, wishing she could go back to last night where she was sitting by him.  How the brush of his leg against hers as they sat at the bar sent a jolt of energy through her body that she had never felt before.  She typed back about how he was really sweet and everything she thought and hoped he would have been.  "he was so funny, very witty."  It was at that moment the phone rang and her girlfriends voice on the other side said "spill it"

With a smile she recapped the evening.  How he met her at a bar and was there before she was, how they sat down and had a glass of wine at the bar and then moved to dinner.  How he looked at her when she talked and listened intently.  She explained the funny things he said and how they had this amazing first date chemistry that you only dream of.  Her friends excitement at the story continued to fuel HER excitement on the date.  "He asked me out again tonight, I said yes."  Her friend could feel her beaming from across the line "where are you guys going? "  "He invited me to a friends house for a party, I am really looking forward to seeing him again, last night went to fast."  

The night had gone to fast.  She arrived at 7pm and in the blink of an eye it was almost midnight.  He had walked her to his car and smiled at her while he brushed the hair away from her face.  She looked up at him in a shy way and he leaned in to give her a sweet kiss and then they hugged for a moment.  The chemistry between them was unmistakable.  Both of them felt it but were afraid to acknowledge it, it was way too fast and they only just met.  "I had fun tonight, can I call you tomorrow?"  She smiled at him and nodded slowly and breathed "yes, I would like that."  

The entire ride home both of them smiled uncontrollably.  He, in his car thumping his fingers on the steering wheel and feeling like he had won the lottery.  She, in her car, music blaring over the radio, singing at the top of her lungs a sappy love song.  Both were in massive crush mode.  Both did not want the night to end.  She pulled into her driveway and pulled out her phone, a text from him sitting on her phone like a beacon in the night "thank you for an amazing night, I really had fun and can't wait to see you again." She giggled like a little girl and wrote back "me too."  Then the three little dots came back immediately to signify that he was writing to her "Not sure what your plans are tomorrow night but a buddy of mine is having a party at his house, do you want to join me?"  She bounced up and down in the seat of her car and wrote back "yes, sounds like fun.  Let's chat tomorrow"   The three little dots followed by "sounds good, sleep well beautiful."  

That next day, she drove to his house.  She walked up the steps to his place and he met her with a huge smile on his face.  He was so glad to see her, she looked just as good as last night.  Could this girl be any more perfect for him?  She was funny, sweet, and talkative.  But more than anything, she was REAL!!  The last few girls he had dated had been so superficial, wanting to be wined and dined every night and their conversation was always about gluten free this or what yoga class they were going to.  This girl, she was different.  She was genuine, and he wanted to be next to her every chance he could get.  

They climbed into his car.  She looked at him as he drove and they talked about their families and what crazy people they had in their lives.  They laughed and talked about everything possible in those 30 minutes in the car, from holidays to hairstyles.  It was just natural and as they spoke their hands found each other and his thumb stroked hers while he explained who would be at the party.  

She was excited about this, he was already wanting to introduce her to his friends, bring him into his world.  She stood in the kitchen and talked to a group of his friends while he was outside on the patio.  He could see her through the kitchen window and he loved how she could hold her own.  The people around her were laughing and she was telling a story with animation and his friends sat back and listened intently.  She glanced out at him on the patio with his buddies, beer in hand, and felt her heart twitch.  They were talking about some game that was on last night and they were all laughing about something he said.  He looked up and caught her glance and made his way toward her.  He moved into the house and stood by her, towering a good 3 inches above her.  "You having fun?"  he asked, his hand finding hers again.  She rested her head on his shoulder and said "yeah, absolutely."  She did not want to admit it, but this was the most fun she had had in a while.  And they weren't doing anything fancy or major, just the fact that this man was next to her was enough.  She felt a strange feeling when she was next to him, she couldn't place her finger on it but it was there....it was.....uhm.....(enter a snapping noise)  confidence.  She felt confidence.  Something she hadn't felt for a long time.  

That night as they made their way to the car, he looked at her and said "well you were an absolute hit with my friends"  She laughed and tucked her hair behind her ear, "yeah, well I really liked them too."  he leaned in and gave her a beautiful kiss, and passion flooded her mind while he wrapped his arms around her.  He pulled away to look at her, to study her face, and thought "yep, this is the girl I have been waiting for."  She looked up at him, letting one of her eyes close to focus on his eyes as if to say "yep, I have been waiting for you too,"  That night they parted and the same text message came through on the way home.  "Can't wait to see you again, is that weird?"  She smiled and tears filled her eyes "No, not at all."  she typed.  Her heart was thumping harder now.  She wanted to turn around and be by him, just to lie next to him.  "Good night beautiful, I will call you tomorrow if that is ok."  She wiped a tear away and typed back "yes, good night to you too."  

She walked up the stairs to her room and lied on her bed.  Could this be it?  Could this be the guy she was looking for?  They always said when you know you know....but is this what knowing is like?  She couldn't wait to see him again and she fell into a quick sleep thinking about his arms wrapped around her.  

The next morning was Sunday.  She opened her eyes and grabbed her phone. Every morning for the last three weeks that she had been talking to him, and then after their first few dates he had texted her "morning beautiful" .  This morning there was nothing.  She didn't think much of it and went downstairs to make coffee.  By 11:30 there was still nothing from him.  Not that she was demanding a message from him, but it was just weird to talk to him every morning and today he was quiet.  "happy Sunday"  She finally typed to him.  She set her phone down and got ready to go to the grocery store.  By 4pm that afternoon, he had still not replied.  She talked to her friend who convinced her that she was over reacting and that of course he liked her.  "He introduced you to his friends, a guy doesn't just do that unless he likes you."  She nodded but knew deep in her heart that something was off.  At 8:45 pm that night, a text came through "happy sunday to you too.  Busy day for me."  And that was it.  It was still a message but it was....different.  "Oh yeah" she messaged back "me too."   She lied because she didn't want him to know that had stared at her phone all day and how her heart jumped when she saw a text but that it turned out to be from her mom.  

The week started slow for her.  The skip she had in her step on Friday had turned to a slow walk.  The days went by and nothing had come from him.  They had talked almost constantly for the three weeks, almost to the point where she wasn't getting any work done.  By Thursday, she was crushed.  He had not answered her last text and she was feeling her heart swell with sadness.  "it's like he's gone, I don't know what happened.  It was going so well, we had so much fun on those few dates."  Her friend listened to her as they shared a bottle of wine.  She handed her phone over to her girlfriend as she read through the text messages.  The messages started out sweet and flirty and then became more and more endearing.  Their conversation took on the turn of a Nicholas Sparks book, with a little comedy and a touch of drama.  The last conversation of "Good night beautiful, I will talk to you tomorrow" was followed by the 180 turn of his last text stating how busy he was. 

"Maybe he is busy,"  Her friend commented to her one night as they sat outside and munched on pizza and sipped on a beer.  "Maybe he just wanted to slow things down."  Her friend took a long drink of her beer and set it on the table, picking up a piece of pizza "maybe he felt things were going to fast."  The girl picked up her phone and thumbed through the messages as if reading them would put her back in that moment.  "I don't think so.  He not only slowed down, he slammed on the brakes and now there is a beeping noise because he is going in reverse."  

The girl sat on her bed later that night and stared at her phone.  She wasn't crazy, she wasn't psycho or  fabricating things in her head....this guy had been into her and she had been into him and just like that,, he was gone.  

"What if he got hit by a car?  What if that night on his way home he got into a car accident and is lying in a hospital somewhere and his phone got damaged in the accident and he is wondering where I am?" The girl was leaning against the counter with a cup of coffee in her hand while she spoke to her colleague.  Two weeks had passed and nothing, not a word.  She even sent him a text on a whim three days prior to see if he would respond.  He hadn't and her hopes of seeing him again were beaming like that of a movie she couldn't remember the ending to.  Yes, it had only been a few dates and yes they only knew each other a short time but....what happened?  Something had to have happened.  "he didn't get into a car accident."  Her colleague brought her out of her deep thought, "he just...moved on, met someone else, got scared,...there are a ton of options of what could have happened. "  The girl felt like she had been lied to.  Like her instincts had been off  or that her heart had been playing a trick on her.  She had never felt like that before, the level of chemistry she felt with him was real...and she couldn't figure out what made it all go away.  It just didn't make sense.   

This scenario above is all to true to me.  It has happened to my friends, it has happened to me.  It is what they call "Ghosting".  You meet someone, think things are going well then all of a sudden they are gone.  And the thing that hurts the most is knowing that you had something, and now you have nothing.  It is frustrating as hell to go from being one way with someone to being a completely different way.  I know that the girl in this story was shaking her head trying to figure out what happened, what she may have said or did to make everything change so quickly.  

"I think he has been kidnapped"  She said one day to her friend. "He was on his way home that night and he was abducted"  Her friend looked at her like she had lost her mind "Ha..yeah, like he was just walking around one night and WHOOMP, the ground opens and he gets swallowed by the earth and wakes up in a dark room with no cell phone."  The two began to continue on this tale, the tale of how these men that were in the beginning stages of falling in love with the girl that they were dating then they get abducted and sent to a place where there is no way to contact the woman they love.  A place called...Ghost Island.

"I imagine all these people, sitting around a campfire, talking about what happened when they were kidnapped.  One guy would say, I was just about to hit send on a text that asked her out for the next day then just like that, I woke up in a dark room where they took my cell phone and told me I could never see her again.   It broke my heart, I really loved her."

The girls knew they were full of crap, but the truth was they needed something to explain what happened to these men.  Why they were so endearing and fully gung ho on winning them over only to go into complete ninja stealth mode and never to be heard from again.

"She loves pigs"  My friend and I were sitting at a bar one night, drinking and trauma bonding over internet dating.  "I'm sorry, what?"  I asked, looking at him over the top of my straw.  "She likes pigs, all sorts of 'em.  Stuffed, real, it don't matter, she LOVES pigs."  I placed my drink down and began to say something, only to hold back my thought for one minute.  "You mean to tell me, you have met this girl, fallen for her, wined and dined her, and now you are having second thoughts about her because she likes pigs."  He shrugged his shoulders as if to say....so.  I pursed my lips in a moment of thought and looked at the clouds passing by.  It was amazing, and it absolutely stumped me that the reason this poor girl was going to be dumped was because he saw a picture of her and her friends in her room on Facebook and there were stuffed pigs on her bed.  That was it...a PIG cost her a relationship with a great guy.  "Well she must not love pigs THAT much because she doesn't like you."  I said it quickly and looked at him sharply.  He was the reason that every girl didn't get a second chance with a guy.  Because he was too damn picky.  And if she didn't fit every single one of those things on his list, it was ok, because there was another girl just a swipe away.

This conversation with this person just angers me.  I think about what I did or had or loved or said I loved that made a relationship go to the wayside.  I love cheese, did THAT set off a lactose intolerant lover?  I drink beer, and I drink crappy beer.  Did that send my crafty suds man packing?   There is no way of knowing what it is that made them disappear.

I still think Ghost island is real....I don't care what anyone says.