I have someone i would like you to meet...

"Do you see that guy over there?"

The bar was crowded and I looked over at the 45 people waiving their money like crazy, trying to get the bartender's attention.

"uhm, which one?"  I said to my friend that was standing next to me.  She was standing on her tip toes, her eyes focused on a certain person that I just could not see.

"what guy?"

Her hand pointed toward the mob and she flicked it like she was trying to bid on stocks "the guy with the red t-shirt at the end of the bar.  The guy drinking the Pabst"

I looked over at the guy she was obviously referring to.  "he" was about 56 years old.  He had about 13 hairs on his head and was moderately sweaty.  Every time someone came to his side of the bar, he would smile at them and then twirl his can of beer in his fingers like spinning a top.

"Uh, yeah, what about him?"  I looked at my friend as though there was an important service announcement that was going to follow.  

"well HE'S divorced."

"ok"  Again, I wait.

"well, I don't know."  All of a sudden she has a very nonchalant tone to her voice, "I just thought you would want to know."

"Why, why would you think I wanted to know that HE was divorced?"  I looked over at him, and honestly there was nothing wrong with him, but he was just so.......not my type.

Now don't get all upset and think "who does Sarah think she is?  Like she is too good for this guy?  He might be the right guy for her."  I assure you, he is not.  Let me explain it in the best way I can.

Imagine you and I are going to buy a car.  You have said you wanted a car for a while now, so I tell you I will go with you, heck I even offer to drive.  While we are out, I stop at a grocery store and pull into a parking spot.  You look at me strange but you assume that I am stopping to grab something before we go to the car store.  I then get out of the car then move back into my seat "you coming?"  You get out of the car and follow me toward the store.  I stop and point over at the grocery carts... "now these have all been in the sun all day, so they may be a little warm but these over here have been in the end of the line so they are shaded and nice and cool.  Take your pick."

You look at me as I have my index finger curled toward my lips.  I am thinking with great intensity.  "what are you talking about?"  You say to me.  "Well, you said that you wanted a car, but these have four wheels and are a little less expensive, if no one is looking they are actually FREE. "

Ok, so I would not take you to a grocery store if you said you wanted a car, but you do realize that THAT is how I translate you singling out the single guy at the bar to me.  Just because he is newly divorced does not mean that we have a secret handshake or you will see me walking over to him and placing a hand on his shoulder whispering quietly "I know your pain."

Don't get me wrong, I love when my friends want to set me up.  I love how they walk up to me and say "Sarah, we have someone that we want you to meet."  They are (9 times out of 10) a single dad and I will say that most of them have been very cool guys.  Unfortunately just not the RIGHT guys.  But that is ok.  With each person I meet and go out with I learn something new about myself.  

The Clayman taught me that I always need to park in a well lit spot in the front of the bar in the event your date goes ape shit about 20 minutes in.

The Dell guy taught me that no matter how much you feel he is a good fit, it is important that you BOTH feel like you are a great fit.

The counselor taught me to trust my gut, if you feel like he is kind of shady, he probably is.

The guy I met on the "giving up" date taught me that rejection sucks and comes in all different phases of your life.

The Keeper, he taught me about letting go of the stuff that didn't matter.  He introduced me to amazing things like great music, great food, fantastic wine and SUSHI.

All of the people in my life, some for longer than others, taught me something that I still have with me today.  I may not have them in my life still, and some of them I miss so much it hurts, but all in all, they taught me something about who I am.

The lessons I learned are in a box, tucked away deep inside of me.  I hold on to my emotional resume and bring them out when needed, but they have made me who I am today.

And I thank them so much for that.

So the next time someone says "Hey, have I got someone I would like you to meet."  Go.  Go out with them.  Even if you are not sure it is right, even if you don't think you would get along or you have seen pictures of them and think that they are definitely not your type...GO.  You never know what new things you may discover.